Today is a gift thet is why its called the present
by Iceinherheart
Summary: its been done before by many people but thoses word 'singing towers of Derilliam' would haunt him forever.


Today is a gift; that is why it's called the present.

The top-hat sat strangely on his head. Not that there was anything strange with wearing a top-hat, it was just odd to know that he'd never be able to wear it again. Or any hat for that matter- they where to painful- bringing back old memories. But he had to wear it, just like he'd seen himself wear it _years_ ago. He ran his fingers over his pocket, checking if he had it (he knew his did but he kept checking anyway, he didn't know why).  
The sound of heals on metal pulled the Doctor from his daydream and... Wow!

His wife was stunning, always, but tonight she was radiant! How fitting, the last time he would see her, ever, she would look beautiful enough to destroy his hearts with a look.

"So Sweetie," River cooed, all but running down the stairs "Where are we going? Oh, are we finally going to see Macbeth? Or what about going to see Cleopatra, like you promised us? Or... Or-or-or-OR, I keep meaning to pop in on mum and dad- can we go? They'd love to see you! Please?" she was excited, it was obvious. According to her she had everything: loving family, great friends, well paying job, no more prison and a chance to be with the man she loved (and, wouldn't you know, loved her back)!  
According to him, all she had to look forward to was this last night, a four day long journey, a him who didn't know her and a painful death (4022 living mind burning inside your head at once, there was no way in hell that didn't hurt).

There were so many places he hadn't taken her, so much time he had wasted that it hurt... And she had no clue!

"Today, Professor River Song, I am taking you to the singing towers of Derilliam! You, my love, will have the best night of your life, I promise." He pulled a smile on, attempting to fool her into believing he was fine, not being ripped apart from the inside and began throwing himself around the T.A.R.D.I.S console in some mad dance he'd created just over one thousand years ago.  
She stayed at the side, choosing not to help but opting to watch him with a small yet content smile tugging at her mouth.  
The blue box landed reluctantly (she didn't want to have to let River go so soon either) but he clicked the doors open, took her hand and lead her out. The towers where tall and made out of black marble... And, true to their name, they sang! The humming sounded around the planet; they only 'sang' once every 4.6 million years and this was the very first of thousands to come, a once in a million lifetimes chance, and he -like usual- handed it to her on a silver platter, tied up with a blue bow. River gasped, her eyes widening in shock at the sight.

The whole scene was stunning.

"Oh my God." she whispered, wincing slightly as the Doctor tightened his grip on her hand until it hurt "It's beautiful!"  
"Yes it is." he agreed, but he wasn't looking out at the towers- he was looking down at her, his eyes full of love, pain and tears.  
"Doctor?" River panicked, reaching up to push his hair out of his eyes to see him, "Sweetie, what's wrong?" he smiled at her, pressed his lips to her forehead and shock his head.  
Nothing.  
"Come on, let's get a better view!" he pulled her forward, towards the towers but his mind was racing:  
_'Do not spoil this for her. Her last night- don't hurt her! Make her happy, make her smile, make her feel special, make sure she knows she will always be love and trusted, always. If you love her, let her go, let it start, let her be fabulous. Give her one last day of happiness before the pain...'_ but it always came back to the same thing- this last night, a four day long journey- she had five days to live.

_Five days._

He couldn't do it- how could he live with out the only thing that gave him hope? How could he let her go? Why...  
Why now? Why ever?

* * *

They stopped under a tree and sat together. They talked and laughed and _lived_ until the sky turned dark and the towers hushed. They had ended up dancing to the last song; a heart braking number that made his hearts... Well, brake. Because it was a song for them: The Doctor and his wife, time catching up to them at last, time to stop running, time to die.

Her head rested on his shoulder and he inhaled repeatedly, determined that he would not forget a thing. Not how she felt wrapped up tightly in his arms, not how she tasted or smelt. Not the colour of her eyes, the curve of her smile or the softness of her hair.  
Not ever.  
He couldn't lose the memories… because he couldn't lose _her_. As the last bars of the song faded, he pulled away, looking down with a fond smile.

"Have I told you about my new job, Sweetie?" She asked as they walked back slowly to the T.A.R.D.I.S hand in hand. He knew what was coming next, but he had to indulge her.  
"I don't believe you have, Dear, do tell. Are you finally giving up Archaeology?" the struggle to keep his voice flat must have failed from the weird look she was giving him but she smiled at his joke and began to explain.  
"No, idiot, Mr. Lux got back into that library I told you about; he picked me to lead the expedition! We leave tomorrow. Isn't it great?" Oh bless her, she was so excited he normally would have been excited for her too, despite the _Archaeology_, but right now it seemed he'd never be happy again. The pain in his hearts was killing him. He could only nod, not trusting his voice.

"I have something for you." he told her quietly, stopping her outside the T.A.R.D.I.S and reaching deep into his pocket to retrieve a deep blue box; he handed it over with a forced grin. She pulled the screwdriver out, beaming but managing looking confused at the same time. His smile, for the first time that night, was really, truly, real.  
"Why..." she asked, gulping.  
"Because... You deserve it, and it's about time you had your own, don't you think?" he smile faded when she made to give it back.  
"Doctor, I can't take your screwdriver." she muttered.  
"Please, River," the Doctor crocked into her ear, tears back as he closed her hand around the screwdriver, sealing her fate. "I want you to have it. To remind you…" he swallowed "to remind you that you are special, trusted and that you are loved, by so many and so much, but by no-one more than me."  
"You're using my words against me!" she laughed and he pressed a kiss to her forehead before whispering: "It's working!" in her ear.  
"Please, River" he repeated himself, drawing away from her. "Please take the screwdriver and _Please_ remember that I love you, always. Remember that, please, even when I've forgotten. Remember that when you come back, there's still sometime when I love you." a single, heart broken tear slipped down his face and she hugged him tightly. For her, it felt like she held him forever. For him, there was nowhere near enough time. There never was or had been.

"Home-time?" she asked holding his face in both hands and gently nuzzling his nose with her own.  
"Home-time." he agreed, his voice cracking.  
The journey home was silent, not a word spoken and both the brakes off and stabilisers on yet he refused to let go of River's hand, pulling her after him everywhere.

All to soon, they stood at her doorstep, her door open behind her.  
"So..." River smiled gently "I guess your not coming in."  
"Not this time, love." he shock his head "Got your screwdriver?"  
"Yep!" she grinned, and there it was. Her smile. He froze this moment in his memory because if worst come to worst and he forgot _everything,_ he would treasure this second forever, and nothing would make him forget. Ever. Nothing would make him forget how very, very much he loved this woman.

"Doctor?"  
"Hum?"  
"When I come back, will you take me to Paris?" Dear God, 'When I come back...', _she wasn't going to be coming back_! At all.  
"Of course I will! Anywhere you like!" silence "River?"  
"Yes, Sweetie?" her head raised, _No more crying!_  
"I do love you, forever. You know that, right? Until the day I die, I'm not going to stop loving you."  
"I know. And I love you too."  
"Melody Pond, Melody Williams, Mels Zucker, River Song. No matter who you are, what you look like. Forever. It's not going to go away." he sniffed hugging her tightly  
"Nor me. Until the day I die (-" _Five Days! _"-), my Doctor."

She stretched her body, whispering his name in his ear and it broke him.  
He grasped her hips in one hand, the other twisting violently in her curls, he pushed her back into the door frame and kissed her. Hard. Fighting the instinct to breath he pushed closer to her, not letting go. He pulled her hair, bit her lip, held her tight enough to bruise; bruises that would more than likely still be there in five days. It just made him kiss her harder. Brutally. Pain, passion, fear, _love_. He pulled off of her to let her breath. He had to go, before he told her everything.  
"Why are you crying, my love?" she gasped and the question startled him because he hadn't been aware of the tears he had cried as he kissed her for the last time. He shock his head.

Kissing her cheek gently he whispering "Good-bye, My Professor River Song, My wife, I love you." and giving her enough tine to reply with a melancholy "I love you too. And I'll see you next time, my love." before he fled back into the T.A.R.D.I.S, not looking back for fear of destroying everything that he ever needed.

With the T.A.R.D.I.S in flight, he tossed his hat to the side, pulled his blue book and a pen from his pocket and opened it to the next blank page.  
The last blank page.  
He wrote down the words quickly:

**'She's gone. Forever.**  
**The woman who made my hearts sing and my head spin, who I never deserved but who loved me anyway.**  
**And I killed her.**  
**But I will never forget her,**  
**Or stop loving her.'**

He shut the book, lay his pen down (it didn't matter where, he'd never need it again, it had been a present from her) and sat down and, clutching their book, let the tears fall as they liked. There was no stopping them. He closed his eyes and remembered…

And woke up.  
"Doctor?" Her voice cooed and her arm on his shoulder made him turn. She was beside him, snuggled up in his bed, young, warm, beautiful, _alive_  
"River?" he coughed touching his cheeks to see if he was crying, he wasn't.  
"Yes, love, what's- Ouch!" he jumped on her, hugging her close, pushing her back and falling over her. He pressed chaste kisses to every piece of flesh he could see, her cheeks, forehead, nose, eyelids, mouth, ears, neck, shoulders, chin. Anywhere he could reach.  
"You, Melody Song are absolutely amazing!"  
It was a dream! It had scared him to death. It had made him need her. It had shown him exactly what he had to treasure. It had shown him exactly what he had to lose. But most of all:

It had given him more time to love her.


End file.
